Low

Someone! Please make me be a positive person.

Why can't get away from this negative thoughts?

I don't mean to doubt you.

I love you.

I swear I won't do that.

But my mind won't stop thinking those bad things.

Hey.

Save me.

I love you.

I won't lie.

I scare I made things worst again.

How?!?!

It's someone's birthday HAHA

Hmm wondering if you are the first one to greet him HAHAHA

WELL, I don't really mind tho.

It's just I kinda felt jealous somehow.

Recalling how you told me you would have chose him over me. 

I am anxious and insecure.

But can I be the only one in your heart?

No matter how he treat you or whatever stuff,

I am confident that I will love you more.

Love you more than anyone will ever do.

So please, can you only look at me?

I am selfish. Just for this once.

I am really afraid of losing you.

Someone once said :

When I first saw you, I don't have the courage to talk to you.

When I first talk to you, I am afraid of liking you.

When I first like you, I am afraid of loving you.

When I love you, I am afraid of losing you.

Pain

Is it normal to get hurt over little things?

I kinda get hurt even though such things never happen.

I started to get weaker and more sensitive, huh? 

Damn loving is tough.

I never love someone this much.

It's like 150%.

It broke the scale.

First Day of School

CaoNiMa

Wake up early morning then go school

No name in class list

Wait 3 periods

Finally, enrolled to Y11Science

Meet my love of my life

Fucking humiliation 

Fucking bias

Fucking stares

Fucking feedback

Fucking comments

Eh CB, I come back school also macam got problem ah

Luckily, the class I am in, still treat me as a friend

Damn

I don't even dare to face old teachers sia

Especially

Accounts teacher

CB eh

I hope what she is going to say

Won't hurt me

Won't ruin my year

But no matter what happens, my love for Ë will never change. I love Ë so much man. So yeah? Damn. 

I am scared of school.

For the first time.

I act happily, smiling all the time.

But truth, I am in fear of all these motherfuxking shits.

Save me!

Urghhhh

Toughest thing in life is to bear the humiliation and the shame to go back to the school where you graduated once before. For you, I will do anything. I love you. I really can't imagine meeting my teachers. They will be shocked of my come back appearance. I wonder what they are going to say will actually hurt me without noticing? I am scared. I just hope there is someone out there lending me a hand. Support me. Well, my previous maths teacher is a good one. She actually treated me as a close friends instead of a student. She told me that it is nothing wrong going back to Y11 Science. I wonder... She told me I am still young and there is a long path ahead. I just chose to experience more than other people will ever had. Such positive thinking. I admire this teacher. Perhaps she actually did give me confidence to stand up again. Let's see how this week will ends. Will I be able to climb from where I fall? Or will I remain a failure? On the other hand, I will work harder than ever before for her sake. I really want our relationship to be official. No more hiding. I want everyone to know that you are forever mine. I will seriously kill somebody if that SOMEBODY attempts to flirt on my girl. Damn man. I never love a girl this much. Well, I hope I can get through this humiliation and shame with mere willpower. 

4th Jan

My hearts beat weirdly.

The first time I felt unconditional pressure and stress.

Both in Education and Love. 

2016

I will use this as a place to vent my frustrations and show my hidden feelings. 

2nd Jan liao

I might as well start to write a daily dairy over here

So I could look back to my 2016 self, in the future and see how stupid I am in the past.

HAHAHA THIS MARKS THE BEGINNING OF MY 2016 journey.

Kinda nervous to go back to school though.

But well, it's worth. I get to see my beloved girl.

That's it for now. I am damn tired sia. I continue tomorrow.